Lily hummed tunelessly to herself as she sped away from the Sock Exchange.  She glanced in the rear-view mirror, thinking she might catch sight of Marika still standing on the sidewalk, but she was already gone.  Lily wanted to leave town quickly before it pulled her back and entangled her in Kit, Ted and her everyday, humdrum and carless life.  She felt lucky to have a good excuse snatch her out of harm’s way.  Only now that  she was on the road could she breathe easily.  She had done it!  She patted the dash.  “Hey old car,” she said out loud.  “You’re in good hands with me.”

            Lily was glad she hadn’t left later in the day, after the evening commute started.  Traffic wasn’t bad. Woodside Road was a mess, of course, but it always was around this time.  Once she was on Highway 101, the drive was easy. Lily found her good mood was returning again.  She felt better the farther she got from Redwood City and Las Bellotas.

            She hadn’t really been home in ages.  Christmas had been the only time in the past year or so, and then, her parents were the only ones she had seen. Even her brother, Stephen, hadn’t been home because he’d been off on some adventure in South America.  She wondered briefly how the rest of the family and her old classmates were getting on. She hadn’t been very close to any of them while she was growing up.  She had thought that most of them were deadly dull and they didn’t seem to care for her very anyway.  When she had been old enough to go to college she hadn’t been able to get away fast enough.  Still, it was always good to see her family again if she didn’t have to stay long.

            She drove north to San Francisco, crossed the Bay Bridge, and headed east out of the Bay Area.  Within the hour, she was approaching the edge of the Central Valley at Vacaville on I-80, and was far enough from the Peninsula that she could think about Kit again without feeling out of sorts.  She wondered how he would react when he found out she had been home for over twenty-four hours and left again without seeing him.  She hoped her note would mollify him; she certainly didn’t want him to report his car stolen this time.  She worried about him making a report, but the risk seemed preferable giving up the car.  She had never felt such freedom!  He probably won’t do anything, unless somebody pushes him to it, she told herself.  Ted might, perhaps, but no--he’d be too afraid she would come after him if he tried something like that!  Lily decided there was little to worry about.  She did feel a little guilty about keeping the car, though.  She promised herself she would drop Kit a postcard or two as promised so he wouldn’t think she had fallen off the face of the earth with it.

            Brown hills sped past and receded behind her. The temperature in the Valley was probably in the 90s today and the breeze felt hot on Lily’s arms as she drove.  The mountains to the west were so much more faded and dismal looking than the Sierra had been.  If she decided to go into the mountains again, she would definitely head east.

            Lily cut north on the Interstate 505 bypass between Interstate 80 and Interstate 5 to avoid Sacramento and save some time.  I-5 came up sooner than she expected, and she eased up on the gas a little.  She was making good time--only sixty miles to go, now.   She allowed herself to daydream about what mountains she might visit next.  But her complacency only lasted until Arbuckle, the first little Valley town north of I-505, where she had to stop for gas, and saw a clock in the gas station.  Five-thirty already! Not much time to spare!  She paid for the gas, found the on- ramp and sped north toward Orland.

            A few miles past Arbuckle, brake lights suddenly flared ahead of her. Lily slammed on her own brakes and screeched to a halt inches from the bumper of the car ahead of her.  She had been getting sleepy, but that cured her fatigue instantly.  As if on cue, her head started to throb again, too.  It was an appropriate time for a headache; traffic had slowed to a crawl. “Damn!” Lily muttered.  “I thought I left this sort of thing behind in the Bay Area. Must be a wreck.”  She hoped she wouldn’t have to wait too long.  The wedding would begin soon, and the closer it came to the time, the more she wanted to be there.  She considered changing clothes in the car in case the traffic stopped altogether, but realized that undressing might cause another accident; then she might miss the wedding entirely.

            It was stop and go the whole eight miles to the Williams turnoff, and seemed to take forever, but eventually she passed the scene of the accident. The powdery carcasses of highway flares littered the shoulder and a tow truck was hoisting a crumpled yellow pickup, but everything else had already been cleared away.  Beyond the object of the pack’s morbid curiosity the jam lightened up considerably, but Lily still had another forty-five minutes or so to Orland.  There was no way she could get to the ceremony in time now, whether she changed clothes on the way or not.  On the bright side, she was sure Ellen wouldn’t be crushed by her absence.  “Well, I’ll still give it the old college try,” Lily said.  She pressed hard on the gas pedal and moved into the fast lane.

            No more difficulties slowed traffic before she reached Orland, and no flashing lights appeared in the rear view mirror, despite her flagrant disregard of the speed limit.  Of course many cars were going even faster than her- -she was only doing 75, which was still a lot faster than Kit ever drove.  She slowed to take the off-ramp to Orland and cruised into town, still going faster than was strictly safe.  She’d covered the distance from the accident in half an hour, but it was still late; already 7:45, according to the clock on the bank.  Lily hoped Ellen and her groom hadn’t planned a quick ceremony.  She wasn’t even sure which church to go to, though she figured the Methodist church was the best bet.  She sped through the streets of Orland and careened into the Methodist church parking lot. Spotting her parents’ old white car, she knew she was in the right place. Lily whooped and hit the brakes, sending the gravel flying. After a quick look around assured her she wouldn’t have an audience, she changed into her nice red miniskirt, the lime green cummerbund and a light purple blouse.  The white bandage wasn’t quite the fashion accessory she would have chosen, but it would have to do. She tossed her hair back and looked at her reflection in the rear view mirror. Perfect!  Well, close enough, anyway.

            Lily jumped out of the car, slammed the door and ran toward the church entrance.  She threw the doors open and dashed inside, only to collide with a small table in her path holding two metal bowls full of rose petals.  The table toppled to the floor with a crash, sending the bowls skittering away and the petals flying.  Ellen and the groom were standing by the altar and the minister was saying something to them.  He stopped in mid-sentence and looked up sharply.  Heads swiveled throughout the church as everyone else looked for the source of the commotion.

            Lily wished she were invisible, but it was too late for that.  She picked up the table and scooped most of the petals back into the bowls before setting them back on it.  Then she stood up straight and tried to pretend nothing had happened as she walked toward an empty pew in the back. People were still looking at her, and Ellen was whispering something to the groom and pointing at her.  A buzz of conversation and muffled laughter filled the church that took a minute or two to subside.  Realizing it was pointless to try to be inconspicuous, Lily smiled and waved at the Ellen and congregation, then sat down heavily in the pew. She hoped her parents had somehow missed her grand entrance.

            Lily looked around at the crowd and noticed the her father’s bald head on the other side of the aisle and she felt awkward and embarrassed because that meant she must be sitting on the groom’s side.  Though she didn’t think much of convention most of the time, she felt she had already made enough blunders.  The minister was just beginning to say, “Do you, Ellen, promise ...” when Lily got up and moved to the proper side of the aisle, several rows behind her parents.  The minister didn’t stop this time, but Ellen shot her a dirty look.  Lily guessed she must have recognized her.  She tried to sit as still as a churchmouse, and found herself wishing the traffic had been worse, so she could have missed the wedding entirely.  I wonder if I’m allergic to weddings, she thought.  This is the second one I’ve disturbed in six months, and I wasn’t even trying this time.  She stifled an embarrassed giggle, remembering the fiasco of Ted and Margaret’s wedding.  Ellen and her beau didn’t know how lucky they were.

            “And do you, Roger, promise to hold and to cherish ...”

            Lily wondered who this Roger was.  He was about the same height as Ellen, dark and reasonably handsome in his black tuxedo.  Maybe she would meet him at the reception, if she dared to appear.  His dark skin and black hair contrasted nicely with Ellen’s pale complexion and long red hair that had never been hacked short again.  Ellen had good fashion sense, though if Lily had been planning the costumes, she would have given Roger a green sash to complement Ellen’s white dress and red hair.

            “I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the minister said.  “You may now kiss each other.”

            Ellen and Roger bussed as instructed; then the wedding was over, and they were walking toward the door. Ellen glared at Lily as she passed and Roger took a hard look at her too, as if memorizing her face.  Lily smiled sweetly and wished she could crawl under the pew until the church was empty.  She supposed she really ought to go to the reception, so she could apologize to them.  She wouldn’t have to stay long, though that would mean missing the food; it had been quite a while since she’d eaten, and her stomach was growling.

            People lined the walkway outside as Lily exited the doors a few minutes later.  A photographer was just moving out of the way as Ellen and Roger walked down the steps.  As they moved to the walk, the crowd cheered and flung rose petals on the newlyweds.  So that’s what they were for!  Lily ran back in to grab a handful before it was too late, but by the time she returned, the bride and groom were already running to their car.  Lily felt a deep pang of disappointment.  She let the petals fall to the ground to mingle with the others, which were now being trampled and smeared into the gray concrete.  She had certainly made a mess of things.

            She looked around for her parents, and saw them standing near the edge of the parking lot.  Her father was in his best gray suit with a red carnation in his lapel, and his bald scalp was shiny with sweat. Lily waved and caught her father’s eye.  He grinned and nudged her mother, who wore a dress with a large and colorful floral design as he pointed. “Look who made it all the way from Menlo Park, Anne!” her father was saying as Lily ran to them.

            “Hi Mom! Hi Papa!” she said and hugged her mother.

            “I’m so glad you made it, honey!” her mother said as they hugged.  She seemed to be taking the heat better than her husband.  “What in the world did you do to your head?”

            “I had a little run-in with a tree.  It’s nothing.”  Her head was actually hurting quite a bit again, but she was determined to ignore it.

            “It’s good to see you again, Lil!” Louis exclaimed.  He gave her a big hug as soon as her mother was finished.  “Glad you found a ride.  You come up with this Kit fellow you mentioned at Christmas?”

            “No, he couldn’t make it,” Lily said as her father let go of her.  “I drove myself up.”

            “Really?  When did you get a car?”

            “I’m borrowing it.”  Lily decided it was time to change the subject.  “I don’t think Ellen’s very happy I came.  I kinda made a lot of noise and a big mess when I came in.”

            Louis winced.  “I thought that might be you.  We were afraid to look.”

            “Don’t worry too much, dear,” her mother reassured her.  “That’s the sort of thing couples remember fondly after a few years.”

            “Maybe.”  Lily felt skeptical.  “I’m not sure Ellen would believe me if I tell her she’ll recall it as the highlight of her wedding.”

            “Forget about it for now,” Lily’s father urged. “Let’s get to the reception and you can smooth things over then.  I’m sure she’ll want to say hello to you.”

            More likely she’ll want to say, ‘Goodbye, you can leave now,’ Lily thought to herself, following her parents to their big old Chevrolet sedan. “Where did Ellen meet Roger?” she asked as they walked.

            “Somewhere in Europe, I think,” her mother answered.  “The funny thing is that he’s from Sacramento. They both went to the state college there, but I don’t think they met until the beginning of this year.  He’s a very nice young man, don’t you think so, Louis?”

            “Sure.  Seems so.”

            They reached the family car, and her father unlocked the doors.  “You want to come with us or drive yourself, Lil?” he asked

            “Where’s the reception?”

            “At Louisa and Maury’s,” said her mother.

            “I’ll see you there.  I’ll try not to get lost.” Lily winked at her father, walked over to Kit’s car and got in.  She followed her parents out of the parking lot, through the downtown and out on the road to her aunt and uncle’s old white clapboard house.  The driveway was full of cars was impossible to miss.  Her parents pulled off the edge of the road and Lily parked behind them.

            “Be there in a minute!” she called to her parents as they got out of their car.  She sat in the car watching them walk to the driveway, wondering what sort of entrance to make.  Maybe she should whirl through the door like a top, her red skirt and her hair flying out.  Maybe she could add a sock on her hand.  That might make Ellen and Roger forget her little accident at the wedding.  Then again, recalling that, maybe she’d better not.  If she attempted anything spectacular, she would probably just run into something else, and then old Aunt Louisa would really have something to be mad about.  It wouldn’t be much fun being well-behaved, but perhaps it would be best, just this once. Lily got out of the car and ran to catch up with her parents, then followed them meekly around the side of the house to the backyard.

            The light was beginning to fade, but the air was warm and slightly humid. A large crowd had already gathered in the backyard.  Strands of red and yellow party lanterns hung between the apple trees, and music played from speakers on the back porch.  Lily thought she recognized a song by James Taylor.   She looked around for the newlyweds, but didn’t find them at first.  She saw her cousin Joseph, Ellen’s younger brother, standing beside a little table over- loaded with bottles of champagne and sparkling cider. She waved at him, and he waved back, rather uncertainly and frowning slightly.  He doesn’t remember me, Lily thought. How quickly they forget.

            Then she saw the wedded couple at the center of a knot of people on the far end of the drinks table.  “Excuse me,” Lily said to her parents.  “I want to congratulate Ellen and Roger, first thing.”  She left them and walked over to join the throng of well-wishers.  Maybe Ellen is so happy she’ll even be glad to see me, Lily hoped; a thought that was immediately followed by, `Don’t kid yourself, girl!’  Well, best to get it over with.  Lily got in line anyhow, and tried to catch the jolly spirit everyone around her seemed to feel.  She exchanged meaningless pleasantries with those near her as the line advanced. “How’re you doing, Janey!  Good to see you, Frank!  Yeah, it’s been forever. I just don’t get home very often.”   She knew most all of the people, and remembered them as if she’d just seen them yesterday.  Many of them appeared to have a harder time placing her, just like her cousin, which made her feel bad. She  didn’t think they should forget her so easily.  Most of those who did recall her were stiff or hostile, and that wasn’t any more pleasant.  Eventually she reached the head of the line.   She took a deep breath and grinned at Ellen and Roger. “Congratulations!” she said.  “I’m so happy for you!”  She waited expectantly for an answer.  It was a long moment coming.  Did I get it right? she wondered.  That is what people say on occasions like this, isn’t it?

            At last Ellen managed a response, an obviously forced smile pasted on her face.  “Thanks Lily,” she said.

            Lily considered telling her that fake smiles were bad for one’s complexion, but thought better of it.  After all, the one she was wearing was rather forced, too.

            Ellen looked expectantly at Lily, who waited for her to say something else.  After a long pause, Ellen made another effort,  “I didn’t expect you to make it since you had to come so far.  By the way, Roger, this is my cousin, Lily Falandini.”  She put her arm around Roger’s waist. “Lily, this is Roger Matsumora.”

            Roger stuck his hand out.  Lily took hold of it firmly and pumped vigorously.  “Glad to meet you, Roger.” She kept pumping.  “Where did she find you?”

            Roger started to look worried after the first few seconds of hand- shaking.  He stopped smiling and pulled his hand away.  Lily let go.  She wondered if she had asked the wrong question.

            “We met in Paris at New Year’s.” he said, smiling again. “She found me wandering the streets looking for a working cash dispenser.  She loaned me enough money to eat and rent a hotel room until the machines were working again.”

            Ellen was looking slightly more relaxed.  “He had an honest face and I figured he would pay me back.  Which he did quite nicely, as it turns out.”

            “That’s a great story,” Lily said.  “I’m glad it worked out so well for you, Ellen.  And ... and I’m sorry about my entrance.  I really wasn’t trying to disrupt things.  I was just in a rush ‘cause I got stuck in traffic.”

            Ellen looked as astonished as Lily had ever seen her.  “Thank you, Lily,” she replied in a rather small voice.

            Someone bumped Lily from behind.  She turned around and realized the line was still very long.  “I guess I’d better let everyone else have their turn,” she said. “Congratulations again!”  She stepped aside and walked quickly toward the apple trees in quest of her parents.  She thought she overheard Ellen say, “Something must be wrong. That didn’t sound like her at all.”

            Lily got as far as the end of the line, stopped, and ran back toward Ellen and Roger.  “Excuse me!” she cried, pushing her way to the head of the line.  Ellen looked surprised, and the people waiting grumbled at her, but she ignored them.  “I almost forgot!” she said to Ellen. “I’m sorry about the hair, too!”

            Ellen smiled wryly.  “Right.  Thanks, Lily.  I’d almost forgotten about it.”

            Lily stood grinning sheepishly for a moment, wondering if she should say anything else.  She could tell Ellen was faking the smile again; the impatience in her voice was a dead giveaway.  Lily spun and pushed her way back toward the apple tree.  As she moved through the crowd, she thought she heard Roger ask, “What about hair?”

            Lily cringed.  She had blown it again; she could tell.  The apple tree offered refuge as she tried to decide what to do next.  Just then someone stirred on the other side of the apple tree.  “Well I’ll be basted and deep- fried!  You made it after all!”

            Lily jumped.  “Hello?” she said.  “Who’s there?”

            “Hello, Lilian,” said the speaker, coming forward.  “Don’t tell me you don’t remember me!”

            Lily squinted in the uneven light.  The greeting sounded familiar, but she couldn’t place the face.  Voice and face were both attached to an elderly man with a thatch of white hair, small and bent, with intense blue eyes and a wide smile.  She stared at him, trying to remember his name. All at once it came to her.  “Mr. Grossman!”  How could she forget?  He was her old fourth grade teacher, and the biggest ham in Orchard School!  He was all that had made her primary education tolerable!  She had intended to keep in touch, but had lost track of him after he retired -- that was three years after she had had him, she recalled, and the year after Ellen was in his class.

            They made small talk for a few moments, until Lily’s stomach started growling noisily.

            “Sounds like you need to find yourself some food,” Mr. Grossman said. “You’ll find the hors d’oeuvres inside.”  He took Lily’s hand and shook it. “Good to see you, Lilian.  I’m going to get in line to congratulate the newlyweds.  Maybe I’ll even get a kiss from the bride,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes.

            Seeing Mr. Grossman made Lily feel better, though she felt slightly embarrassed that he could hear her stomach over the music.  She took his advice, wandering to the back porch and walking inside, past the speakers blaring some old pop tune.  She found the dining room as crowded as the reception line had been.  She jostled her way to the table until she was able to pick up a small plate and pile it high with a little of everything on the hors-d’oeuvres trays.  As she retreated from the table, she bumped into her mother and nearly dumped her plate on the floor.  A carrot stick or two rolled off, but she ignored them.

            “Did you get to say hello to Ellen and Roger?” Anne asked.

            “Yeah.  Ellen wasn’t too comfortable.”

            “Sometimes I don’t understand that girl.  You had to come a long ways to be here.”  Lily’s mother took hold of her arm and guided her toward the living room.  “Your father and I were just talking with Maury and Louisa.  Come say hello.”

            “Oh, Mom, they won’t want to see me, either.”

            “Nonsense.  I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to see you, dear.  In fact, they were just asking about you.”

            Lily let herself be steered into the living room and toward Aunt Louisa, Uncle Maury and her father.

            “Hello, Lilian.”  Aunt Louisa pursed her lips and didn’t smile.  Her eyes were like flint.

            “Hi, Aunt Louisa.  Hi, Uncle Maury.”

            “I trust you had fun almost ruining the wedding,” Aunt Louisa said coldly.

            “Now, I’m sure it was an accident, dear,”  Uncle Maury countered.

            “I’m sorry I made such a mess of things, Aunt Louisa.”

            Aunt Louisa gave Lily a long, steely glare. “Humph,” she said.

            “Oh come on, Louisa, you know these things happen,” said Lily’s father, coming to her defense.  “I believe I remember a certain step-sister of mine causing a ruckus at our wedding.  Lily’s accident is just the sort of thing Ellen and Roger’ll laugh about when they remember the wedding in years to come.”

            Louisa turned red and put her hand over her mouth.  Uncle Maury jumped in.  “It’s okay, Lily,” he said. “They got married didn’t they?  Just like they were supposed to.”

            “Humph,” said Aunt Louisa again, much less powerfully than before.

            All the same, Lily couldn’t stand hearing Aunt Louisa humphing at her any more.  “Nice to see you again, Aunt Louisa; Uncle Maury.  I’m tired, so I’m going home. See you there, Mom and Papa.”  She gave a peck on the cheek to each of her parents and marched back to the refreshment table.  As she went by the table, she reached over one of the guests to grab a couple more little sandwiches, then headed for the front door.  She’d almost been enjoying herself until she’d been forced to talk to Aunt Louisa. Lily didn’t understand why she had to be so unpleasant.  She hadn’t even acknowledged Lily’s apology, when even Uncle Maury had tried to make peace.  Too bad Great Aunt Sophie couldn’t have been here; she would have sniffed right back at Aunt Louisa!  Lily was sure that Great Aunt Sophie could have outsniffed Aunt Louisa any day with her hands tied behind her back.

            Thinking about Great Aunt Sophie made Lily feel better.  So did stepping out into the warm night air again. She walked to the street, her shoes crunching the gravel on the driveway as she went.  She could hear the low chirp of the crickets in the field across the street over the sounds of the stereo and the wedding guests’ voices from the backyard. The smell of the night air brought back memories of hide and seek and spy games outside after dark during her summers growing up.

            Lily found the car and got in.  She rolled the window down and sat for a long time without starting the engine.  Were Ellen and Roger happy? she wondered wistfully. Would they be happy next year?  Roger seemed like a nice guy.  She liked him better than she liked her cousin right now.  Or her aunt. They knew how to hold a grudge, that was for sure.  They were like Ted, that way.

            The thought of Ted drew her mind back to the Peninsula, and Kit, which she’d managed to keep mostly out of mind for several hours now.  Damn! Resolutely, Lily turned the key in the ignition and started the engine.  No sense in making myself feel worse, she thought.  I’ll go home and listen to some music for a while, then go to bed. She switched on the headlights, pulled onto the road and drove the mile and a half to her parent’s house.

            She turned into their driveway and parked behind her dad’s pickup, an ancient blue and white Ford that was several years older than she was.  The spare key was still in its old hiding place, behind the fuschia by the front door.  Lily was glad that her parents’ hadn’t moved the key; she didn’t carry the house key with her anymore. The familiar smells of her old house rushed out to her as she opened the door.  It was good to home again.

            Lily’s stomach rumbled again.  Momentarily, she regretted having missed the cake.  Still, she didn’t really care about the cake if Aunt Louisa was going to be so awful about everything.  She remembered the plate of food still sitting in the car, so she went outside to find it.  When she came inside again, she ate a couple little rolls, then put an old Joni Mitchell record on her parents’ stereo.  She kicked off her shoes and lay down on the couch to listen to the music.  A soft couch was hard to beat.  She was exhausted and her eyes didn’t want to stay open any more.

            “...nice reception, don’t you think?” Lily heard her mother’s voice through a thick fog.  She rubbed her eyes and sat up groggily.

            “Good morning, Lil,” her father said to her as he walked into the living room.  “You left too soon; you missed a fine party.”

            Lily yawned.  “Aunt Louisa was being mean to me and I was too tired anyway.”

            “She means well, honey, even if she doesn’t always sound like it,” Anne said.  Louis came up behind her and put his arms around his wife’s waist.

            “That doesn’t mean I have to like her being mean to me,” Lily protested.

            “The best part came after Ellen and Roger cut the cake,” said Louis, trying to change the subject as usual. “They each looped their arms around the other’s and popped it into the other’s mouth.  None of that smashing cake in each other’s faces.”

            Her mother nodded, “That was a relief.  I so dread the cake cutting at weddings nowadays.”

            “Then after the cake,” her father said, “Ellen and Roger went out to the edge of the patio and began dancing. Before long nearly everyone was dancing, on the patio, on the lawn and around the apple trees.  It was still so warm we were all comfortable in our shirt sleeves.  The patio lights were turned off so that the Chinese lanterns were the only lights left on.  Couples wove around the apple trees, under the lanterns and across the lawn even though it was dark that far from the house.  Even your cousin Joseph was dancing, and he’s so shy he never dances.  Your mother even got me to dance, which is no mean feat.  And old Jack Grossman; you should have seen him!  He was in his element, even dancing with Ellen for a while.”

            Lily’s mother sighed.  “All those people dancing in the darkness--it was beautiful.  Really magical.  We laughed and enjoyed ourselves so much.  No one wanted to stop until we were too tired to move any more.”

            “When Maury finally turned the music off, people still didn’t want to leave,” Louis continued.  “Ellen and Roger finally drove off in Roger’s sports car to go to houseboating on Lake Shasta, but even after that people still stuck around talking.  Your uncle finally had to ask everyone to leave so he and Louisa could go to bed.  I think the party would still be going on if he hadn’t.”

            Lily felt gloomy.  It was bad enough to have had an unpleasant time at a party, but she felt even worse after hearing how wonderful it had been after she had left.

            “Do you remember our wedding, dear?” Anne asked her husband.  She leaned against him, smiling with a dreamy look in her eyes.

            Oh God, thought Lily.  Not more!

            Louis smiled and snorted softly through his nose. “Nothing went quite as planned, did it?  We were supposed to have a garden wedding, but the weather gods decided to pour just as we started the ceremony.  Then, once we managed to get through the ‘I do’s’ inside the house, we discovered that the caterer hadn’t arrived.  When we called, we found out he had the wrong date.”

            “What did Louisa do at your wedding, Dad?” asked Lily, remembering his exchange with her aunt at the reception.

            Her father grinned.  “You wouldn’t believe it, Lil, and I’m not going to tell you--I know how your little inspirations start!  I will say that she couldn’t meet your mother’s eyes for months.”

            “Oh, Papa!  I really wanted to know.”

            “It doesn’t matter, dear,” Anne said.  “Nobody minded too much in the long run.  We danced and laughed a lot, too, and still had a great time, despite her.”

            “Darn right,” said Louis.  “We still are, too.” He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.  They stood together without talking for a long moment, then he dropped his arms.  She sighed again, still looking dreamy.  He slipped off his coat and headed toward the bedroom.

            Anne walked over to the TV set and rested one hand on it.  She looked at Lily.  “Do you think you’ll get married sometime, honey?”

            “I don’t know, Mom,” Lily said.  She thought back on all her relationships that kept exploding in her face. Even Kit had seemed safe and look at them now.  She thought the prospects dismal and too depressing to think about.

            Her mother regarded her for a moment.  “You ought to meet somebody nice to marry.”

            “Of course it’s cheaper if she doesn’t,” her father chimed in from the bedroom, where he was putting away his coat.

            “Louis, that’s not important at all and you know it,” Anne gently chided. She had a slight smile on her lips.

            “I don’t think I want to get married, anyway,” Lily said.  “The last two weddings I’ve attended have been disasters.”

            Her mother sat down in the easy chair.  “That doesn’t mean yours would have to be.  What happened with Ted?  He seemed like a nice young man; good job, sensible and all that.”

            “Mom, I told you at Christmas!  He dumped me and married someone else!” Lily felt angry at her mother for bringing up Ted.  The whole discussion was unpleasant enough without him in it, too.

            Her father came back to the living room and sat down heavily on the sofa next to Lily.  He patted her hand. “Too bad about Ted.  I know you liked him a great deal.”

            Lily rubbed her eyes and said very softly, “I still do, only it doesn’t do me any good now.”

            “There, there, honey, don’t cry.”  Anne reached over to pat her shoulder. “Aren’t you seeing somebody else these days?  Kit?  Isn’t that his name?”

            Lily dropped her hands and sat up straight.  “I am not crying.  I’m just rubbing my eyes because I’m tired. Why are you so eager to have me married off, anyway?”

            “Now, honey, we’re not trying to push you,” her mother protested.

            “Yes, you are.  You said I ought to find somebody to marry.  I do not have any plans to get married, okay? Why don’t you work on Stephen?”  She stood up.

            “Lily,” Louis warned, “that’s no way to speak to your mother.  You know she’s just interested in your life.”

            Lily sagged.  “I’m sorry, Mom.”

            “No, I’m sorry, honey.  Maybe I was pushing a bit.  It was just such a nice party and Ellen looked so happy with Roger, I just started thinking ...” Her mother stopped.  She had turned red and put her hand over her mouth.

            “Mom!”

            Louis put his hand on his wife’s knee.  “I think we’d better let it drop, Annelise.”

            “That would be a great idea!  I’m going to bed.” Lily stomped toward her old room.

            “It’s all ready,” her mother called after her. “I made it up in case you came home.”

            “See you in the morning, Lil,” her father said.

            Lily lay awake in the darkness, listening to the ‘scritch, scritch’ of the tail on the old plastic cat clock that had hung on the wall since she’d been a child.  If she listened closely, she could hear the faint squeaking of the eyes opening and closing, too.  She wished she could start this trip again.  Nothing was going right.  Weddings were supposed to be fun, but all she seemed to be able to do was get in trouble and make herself sad.  Coming home to visit her family was supposed to be fun, too, though she often didn’t enjoy her visits much.  She and her parents usually got into arguments like they had tonight.  She loved them dearly and she knew they loved her, too, but it was hard to spend much time with them.

            There were entirely too many weddings these days. Next thing she knew, Kit would standing before the altar with Marika or somebody.  Wouldn’t that be awful.  Not that Lily wanted to marry him, but she didn’t feel enthusiastic about watching him marry somebody else, either.  If he does, I ought to stay away, she thought.  No telling what might happen with my jinx.  Aliens might land and snatch the whole wedding party away to a distant galaxy.  She giggled at the thought of a whole wedding party getting sucked into a flying saucer, with wedding dresses, bridesmaid’s bouquets and tuxedo jackets all flying around. She didn’t think Kit would like that; he would probably never forgive her. Then again, if he got married, she wasn’t sure she’d forgive him, either.

            She thought about the argument again and sobered up.  She didn’t feel she could face another one.  Suddenly the house and Orland suddenly felt as claustrophobic as her house in Menlo Park had.  Everywhere people trying to interfere in her life!  She needed to get out of here!

            Lily reached over to the light switch above the bed and flipped on the light to check the clock. It was three-thirty; much too early to leave, but she felt wide awake.  She turned the light back off and lay in bed for a while longer, listening to the ticking of the clock.   She wished she had simply gone to bed instead of lying down on the couch; that way the whole argument could have been avoided and she would have gotten a good night’s sleep.  She fidgeted, trying to imagine sheep or something to lull her into slumber.  The sheep kept turning into Baby Dee chasing after throw rugs and that didn’t make her any sleepier.  She tried praying to the sandman to hit her over the head with a big sleep mallet, or at least grease the sand in his hourglass and hasten the onset of morning. But the sandman didn’t appear to have his prayer ears on tonight.

            Abruptly, Lily threw back the covers, turned the light on again, and got up.  Even though it was the middle of the night, she wanted to leave.  She put back on the clothes she’d worn the evening before, having neglected to bring her bag in with her, and then tiptoed to the bathroom to run some cold water on her face.  Then she sneaked into the kitchen for a snack.  She found some leftover ham in the refrigerator and made a big sandwich, which she wrapped in plastic and stuffed into a paper bag.  Next she hunted for something to drink, finding a bottle of apple-raspberry juice.  It wasn’t carrot juice, but it wasn’t that awful cream soda her father liked, either.  It would do.  She crammed the juice bottle into the bag on top of the sandwich, along with a couple bananas, an apple, and a cookie.

            I should write a note, she thought, when she had finished packing the food.  Seemed like she was doing that a lot, lately.  She found a pad of paper and a pen in the kitchen by the phone and took them to the table. “Dear Mom and Papa,” she wrote, “Sorry to leave so soon.  I know we didn’t have much of a chance to talk, but I had to go.  Have some things to sort out.  I don’t really know where I’m going yet.  I’ll send a card when I get there.  Don’t worry about me.  I’ll be OK.  I’ll be back sometime.”  She signed it “Love, L,” and drew a heart under the L.  Then she tore the page from the pad and took it to the kitchen, sticking it on the door of the refrigerator with a magnet shaped like a slice of pizza, complete with plastic slices of pepperoni and olives.  It doesn’t make all that much sense, she thought as she reread the note, but at this time in the morning, it’s the best I can do.

            She drank out of the kitchen sink faucet, walked out to the table and collected the lunch bag.  Then she crept to the front door and opened it as quietly as she could.  She blew a kiss to her parents and closed the door just as quietly.