It's a busy time for everyone, but we haven't found much that qualifies as `department news'. You can change this situation. Send news, gossip, innuendo, even reports of suspicious activity to our staff at sesquip@gmail.com.

Arto Anttila gave a colloquium at UC San Diego last week. Apparently, the title was top secret. You'll have to ask Arto what he talked about.

Here's Rob Munro doing some studying halfway up Alta Peak in Sequoia National Park. He's simultaneously fulfilling the requirements of Joan's LFG class and his Wilderness Skills course.


High on LFG

Penny Eckert on the recent amendment of the French Constitution:

The ultimate absurdity. Now that they've killed off their Romance dialect continuum and are almost rid of the non-Romance varieties, the French have revised their constitution to recognize the "75" languages of France. So now they can have their cake and eat it too - brag about their linguistic diversity but not have to deal with any living languages. (What's more, adds Annie Zaenen, Arabic isn't even listed among the 75.)

Read about the French constitutional revision (tout en francais) here.

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
Dr. Jones, at your cervix.



In a Podiatrist's office:
Time Wounds All Heels.



On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels



At a Proctologist's door:
To expedite your visit, please back in.



On a Plumber's truck:
We Repair What Your Husband Fixed



On another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip; Call your plumber!



On a Church's Billboard:
7 days without God makes one weak.



At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
Invite us to your next blowout.



At a Towing company:
We don't charge an arm and a leg: We want tows.



On an Electrician's truck:
Let Us Remove Your Shorts



In a Nonsmoking Area:
If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.



On a Maternity Room door:
Push. Push. Push!



At an Optometrist's Office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.



On a Taxidermist's window:
We really know our stuff.



On a Fence:
Salesmen Welcome! Dog Food Is Expensive!



At a Car Dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.



Outside a Muffler Shop:
No appointment necessary; We hear you coming.



In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!



In a Restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.



In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
Drive carefully! We'll wait.



At a Propane Filling Station:
Thank heaven for little grills.



At a radiator shop:
Best place in town to take a leak



Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
CAUTION - This Truck is Full of Political Promises

For events farther in the future consult the Upcoming Events Page.

FRIDAY, 23 MAY

• Speech Lunch

  Meghan Clayards (U of Rochester)
  Acoustic-phonetic speech cues and word recognition: what makes a good cue?
  12 PM, Ex Lab

• Construction of Meaning Workshop

  Chris Potts (UMass Amherst)
  "Pragmatic Enrichment via Expressive Content"
  3:30pm, MJH 126

• UCSC Linguistics Colloquium

  Daniel Buring (UCLA)
  Title TBA
  4:00pm, Humanities One, Room 202, UCSC

• Weekly Social!

  5:00, department lounge
  

MONDAY, 26 MAY

• Memorial Day

  Stanford is closed!

WEDNESDAY, 28 MAY

• Psychology Developmental Brownbag

  Susan Johnson (Psychology)
  Individual differences in social cognitive development in infancy: From genes to beliefs
  12:00pm, 420-102

• Wesson Lectures on Problems of Democracy

  Philippe Van Parijs (Universite catholique de Louvain)
  "Rethinking Justice for Multilingual Entities"
  5:30pm, 370-370

THURSDAY, 29 MAY

• CSLI CogLunch

  Pat Suppes (Philosophy)
  Partial Orders of Similarity Invariant between Brain and Perceptual Representations of Language
  12:00pm, Cordura Hall 100

• UCSC Linguistics Colloquium

  Asya Pereltsvaig
  Title TBA
  2:00pm, Location TBA, UCSC

• Wesson Lectures on Problems of Democracy

  Philippe Van Parijs (Universite catholique de Louvain)
  "Institutional Design for Multilingual Democracies"
  5:30pm, 370-370

FRIDAY, 30 MAY

• Wesson Lectures on Problems of Democracy

  Philippe Van Parijs (Universite catholique de Louvain)
  Discussion Seminar
  1:00pm, 460-426

• Linguistics Department Colloquium

  Undergraduate Honors Presentations
  3:30pm, MJH 126

• UCSC Linguistics Colloquium

  Michael Wagner (Cornell)
  Title TBA
  4:00pm, Humanities One, Room 202, UCSC

• Weekly Social!

  5:00, department lounge
  

UPCOMING EVENTS (always under construction)

LINGUISTIC DEPARTMENT EVENTS PAGE

Got broader interests? The New Sesquipedalian recommends reading or even subscribing to the CSLI Calendar, available HERE.

WHAT'S HAPPENING AT UC SANTA CRUZ?

WHAT'S GOING ON AT UC BERKELEY?

HOW ABOUT MIT? UMass Amherst? U Chicago? Rutgers?

1. China Red Cross (Chinese Site)
If connection fails, please try here.
Visa card acceptable.

2. Chinese Consulate in San Francisco, please write a check and put "5.12 Sichuan earthquake donation" as the memo.

Mailing Address:
Consul Yan Li
Education Office,
The Consulate General of the People's Republic of China,
1450 Laguna street, San Fransisco, CA 94115.


The consulate will forward your donation to China Red Cross

3. Chinese Consulate in Houston
Acceptable:check/money order/cashier's check
Payable to:Chinese Consulate General in Houston
Memo: Earthquake donation, ????
Address:811 Holman Street, Houston, TX 77002
Tel:(713)522-0438

4. Chinese Consulate in New York: Chinese, English

5. Chinese Embassy in UK: Chinese, English

6. Chinese Embassy in Australia: English

Your ENTIRE contribution is guaranteed to go to the earthquake relief directly if you choose above options. However, for convenience, if you prefer to pay online, you can try the following. Administrative or transactional fee may apply.

Other options:

• International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies (IFRC) (English, Francais and Espanol)
  
  Credit card acceptable. Click on "how to help"-->"online donations" --> "China Earthquake"
• Hongkong Red Cross (English and Chinese)
  
  Visa and Master card acceptable. Donation amount in HK dollars.
• American Red Cross (English)
  
  Major rredit cards acceptable.
• Canadian Red Cross (English, Francais)
  
  Credit Card or Interac Online Payment Service
• British Red Cross
  
  Donation in GBP only and major credit cards acceptable.
• Mercy Corps (English)
  
  Major credit card acceptable. US dollars only.
• Silicon Valley Tsinghua Network (SVTN) (English Site)

The Stanford Blood Center is reporting a shortage of types O and A. For an appointment, visit http://bloodcenter.stanford.edu/ or call 650-723-7831. It only takes an hour of your time and you get free cookies. The Blood Center is also raising money for a new bloodmobile.

Want to contribute information? Want to be a reporter? Want to see something appear here regularly? Want to be a regular columnist? Want to take over running the entire operation? Write directly to sesquip@gmail.com.