From I Don't Know What's Wrong, Songs 1975-2000
Clean Ears
I Love My Dog
Truck Drivin' Child
I've Got a Friend in Buddha
Quiet Desperation
I Killed You Just to Put You in a Song
Mistakes I've Made
Merci, Henri
Misery
Hanukkah Is Comin' Around
Other Lyrics
Clean ears
Make me hotter than fire
Clean ears
Increasing my desire
It’s those clean ears that make me love you
As long as they’re clean, can’t get enough of you
And those clean ears, those squeaky clean ears
I used to go around with my ears dirty
Filled with dirt and grime
I knew that I should keep them clean
But I just couldn’t, couldn’t find the time
Then you came along and made me see
The error of my ways
Now I’ll always keep my ears clean
I’m in the shower most all of the day
(And I hear you singing through the water)
Clean ears...
You told me there was nothing worse
Than ear wax on the pillow in the morning
You said if I didn’t clean it up
I wouldn’t get no more, you gave me warning
And now the pillows are bright and white
When the sun lights our sweet love
My ears are clean, I can hear the sounds of love
From all around, below, and above
(And I hear you singing through it all)
I don't know what she thinks is the matter with me
She only caught us playing out behind the old oak tree
And now she won't listen, she won't even talk to me
I don't know what's wrong
I don't know what's wrong
I only know
That I love my dog
I think it's my dog that she don't like that much
She says I play with him too much, that he's my crutch
But he's still my dog and I like him so much
I don't know what's wrong (repeat chorus)
I go over to see her on Saturday night, she knows what for
She just leaves us out there standin', knockin' at her door
She won't let us in, she says through the door I know what for
But I don't know what's wrong (repeat chorus)
I think I'll take my dog and head out to sea
I don't reckon any sailors there would care to pick on me
And they might even like my dog, I'd like to go and see
Cause I don't know what's wrong (repeat chorus)
He left his home and his mama when he was only four
Said "I gotta get outta here, can't take it anymore"
So he took the wheel of a ten ton rig as far as it would go
And when he died they buried him by the shoulder of the road
He'd crawl into a diner, he'd climb up on a stool
Woe be to the trucker who said, "Boy, get yourself to school"
Truck drivin' child would stand on the stool and stare into his eyes
That trucker would turn pale, then he'd apologize
He wasn't yet quite tall enough to see over the top of the dash
And the shame of sitting in a high chair made him break out in a rash
So he sat on a couple of copies of the Memphis telephone book
He'd sit up there, jump down to shift, then jump back up to look
The year they all left Memphis to go north searchin' for jobs
They didn't know their migration would lead straight to a mother's sobs
That phone book was so much thinner, he didn't see the other rig comin'
Broken glass all over the pike, that accident surely was somethin'
They found his broken body curled up like he was takin' a nap
The blood all over his peaceful face made it look like a highway map
And even though that little truck driver had taken his final trip
His fingers were closed tight as a vise around his rig's stickshift
Chorus:
He was (oh, yes, he was, oh, yes, he was)
A truck drivin’ child
Born to drive
Born to drive wild
He didn’t understand the meaning of fear
Gentle enough to stop for a deer
He was (oh, yes, he was, oh, yes, he was)
A truck drivin’ child
I was standing in the church on a Sunday afternoon
Wondering if I really could be saved
When a Buddhist monk approached me, it was none too soon
And he said, "Son, the whole west is depraved"
(He started singing) Oh, I've got a friend in Buddha
He shows me the way every day
Oh, I've got a good, good friend in Buddha
Cause I listen to every thing he say
Well, he said give up your thinking, your drinking,
your hurting, your flirting
All those other bad things
They'll only lead you straight into despair
Then he took all my possessions, he took my watch,
he took my shoes, he took my rings,
And then he disappeared into thin air
Well, I felt a bit light headed, didn't know quite what to do
But then I felt a strange release
He't taken everything I'd ever had, that's true
But he'd left me with inner peace
(I started singing) Oh, I've got a friend in Buddha
He shows me the way every day
Oh, I've got a good, good friend in Buddha
Cause I listen to every thing he say
So collect up all your money, all your cars and your daughters too
Put 'em all in a bag, send it all to me
And in return I'll send my good friend Buddha right back to you
And then you too will be set free
(You'll be singing) Oh, I've got a friend in Buddha
He shows me the way every day
Oh, I've got a good, good friend in Buddha
Cause I listen to every thing he say
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
But none of them is losing you
I'm leading a life of riotous dissipation
On a diet of booze and blues
I'm breathing heavy
Gotta bevy
of doubt
Gotta passel of pain
plain
as all get out
I hear your voice
I got no choice
but to shout
I cry all through the night
Cause it just can't be right
without you
Transcendence may be easy for others
They ride that karma right out of town
They gallop ‘cross the prairie like one hand clapping
But this earthly weight is dragging me down
Most men lead lives of civil obedience
But none of them lost the right to you
I'm looking to crime as a likely expedient
Not gonna be polite with you
I'm breathing heavy (repeat)
Resignation may be a comfort to others
Sadder, wiser, misty-eyed, blue
Like Buddha stood up at the dharma prom
He’d howl like Meatloaf if he lost you
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation (repeat)
I’m breathing heavy (repeat)
I Killed You Just to Put You in a Song
I was burnin' in my sleep
Tossin' and turnin' in my bed
My misery hollow and deep
I was wishin' I was dead
I was thinkin' of how I love you
Bobbin' and sinkin' against my will
But then I thought of my pencil
And the pages I have to fill
I killed you just to put you in a song
I wish you would have told me I was wrong
But now it's too late
This song is your fate
I put you down in a rhyme
When I need you for all time
I killed you just to put you in a song
You did something to me
Nobody else could do
You opened my eyes to see
And all I saw was you
You rid me of dread and despair
You undid my existential designs
You gave me such a scare
That I put you between the lines
I killed you just to put you in a song
I wish you would have told me I was wrong
But now it's too late
This song is your fate
I put you down in a rhyme
When I need you for all time
Yes, I killed you just to put you in a song
Some of them were stupid
Some of them were smart
Some were so damn beautiful
They qualify as art
Some had consequences
Some dared suicide
Some were so damn reckless
The bystanders died
Mistakes I’ve made
Mistakes I’ve made
Mistakes I’ve made
Mistakes
Some of them were instinct
Some took lots of thought
Some I had to capture
Just to end up caught
Some were done with malice
Some done with a wink
All of them are with me
When I stop to think
Mistakes I’ve made...
At the end of the day
When the light gives way to dark
My mistakes put on a carnival
It’s a self-esteem theme park
Every ride an adventure
The simulation sublime
There’s something about the terror
That keeps me in line
Mistakes I’ve made...
Some of them were stupid
Some of them were smart
Some were so damn beautiful
They qualify as art
Some had consequences
Some dared suicide
All of them are with me
All of them are mine
Mistakes I’ve made
Mistakes I’ve made
Mistakes I’ve made
Mistakes
At the turn of the century in Paris, France
There lived a philosopher named Henri Bergson
He composed an essay called “Le Rire”
Available in a fine edition by Wylie Sypher
Bergson was beloved by les Parisiennes
He was a philosopher but he liked a good joke
I imagine him walking, baguette in his hand
All the people calling out as he passes
“Merci, Henri
You are the laughing philosopher
Merci, Henri
You taught us the truth of ‘Le Rire’”
He saw laughter as a social corrective
to loosen up the rigid physiognomy
Life demands constant adjustment
to avoid beng le butt de le joke
Look at the fool who does the same thing
regardless of the any new circumstance
Come, we must mock him into elan vital
Let’s shoot some seltzer down his pants
“Merci, Henri...”
Consider the essence of slapstick
The fool tripped up by his absence of mind
The tyrant oblivious to the suffering of others
Come, let us mock him back into line
But Woody Allen says in Manhattan
that you can’t really satirize Nazis
But then there’s Jack Benny, born Benny Kubelski,
And that’s what he did so in To Be or Not to Be
What the Nazis did to the Jews
That’s what Jack Benny, he did to the Nazis
Though the way they told that joke in the movie
was about what Jack Benny did to Shakespeare
Can a culture overdose on laughter?
Should everything be subject to ridicule?
In the liturgy for Yom Kippur
All the Jews apologize for making light
For making light of serious matters
And they say one must not mock one’s fellows
What would Henri say to that?
Would he have laughed it off?
You see he saw laughter as a social corrective
Meant to loosen up the stony face
He said life demands constant adjustment
And that’s how we avoid being le butt de le joke
Merci, Henri...
They say misery loves company
Good old misery
Misery don’t love company
Misery loves me
My head’s down on the table
Swimming against the grain
I’d try to lift my head up
If alcohol were rain
I don’t look past the shadows
Cause I have a perfect view
I’m so comfy in the shadows
And I know there’s nothing new
People think I’m waitin’
They can’t see that I’m complete
The barkeep knows my order
If it’s in my glass, it’s neat
That woman on the bar stool
Is thinking of comin’ by
When she gets close to my table
She’ll see it’s occupied
Cause my eyes are on my eyelids
My ears are on my lobes
My soul is in this shot glass
But my mind’s not on this globe
They say misery loves company
Good old misery
Misery don’t love company
Misery loves me
Now it’s close to closing time
The lights are blinking out
I’m deep inside the nothing
Of what three a.m.’s about
I know all about that last call
I don’t need another clue
I know I’ve got the answer
And I know it isn’t true
Oy, you better not whine
You better not shrei
You better not nudge
I’m telling you vy
Hanukkah is comin’ around
He’s making a list
He’s checking it twice
Keeping an eye
on each Bernstein and Weiss
Hanukkah Harry’s in town
He knows when you've been kvetching
He knows when you ate trayf
He knows if you've been shlep or mensch
So be a mensch for your bubbeh's sake
(Oh, you better be a mensch for your bubbeh's sake)
Oy, you better not whine
You better not shrei
You better not nudge
I'm telling you vy
Hanukkah Harry's in Town
He knows when you're observant
He knows when you're a fake
He knows if you're reform or glatt
So be frum for your bubbeh's sake
(Oh, you better be frum for your bubbeh's sake)
Oy, you better not whine
You better not shrei
You better not nudge
I'm telling you vy
Hanukkah is comin’ around
My Eastern teacher tells me
This world is a mirage
The soul is prisoner of the body
Like a car in a garage
Progress must be spiritual
Invisible to the naked eye
There is nothing in the physical
But surfaces and lies
Don't ask me to boogie with you
I got the Holy Vegetable Blues
I got an introspective point of view
I just wanna make some inner peace news
I got the Holy, Holy Vegetable Blues
I'm turnin' into an avocada
So I can reach nirvana
I'm just a radish, willing and able
I want to be set on Buddha's table
I'm turnin' into a yellow squash
All my cravings I'm gonna quash
I'm from Brussels, I'm gonna sprout
Buddha will guide my turnabout
The road to heaven shows me
This world is not for real
The soul can trip up on the body
Like a banana on a peel
Progress must be internal
Towards perfection I will strive
The soul is just a kernel
We must be popcorn all of our lives
Don't ask me to boogie with you (repeat chorus)
I'm turnin' into an avocada (repeat )
Don't ask me to boogie with you (repeat chorus)
Went to work
Listened to the boss
Telling me
About his profit and loss
Mornings, afternoons
They go by so slow
Like a chair
Nowhere else to go
For Who
For Who
I do it all for Who
Nobody there
Nobody anywhere
There’s me but there’s no you
So I do it
I do it all for Who
Got a raise
Thanked the man
Gave me the money
With the back of his hand
Bought a new car
It has two doors
Don’t know what
I’ll use the other one for
For Who...
Drove to the beach
Parked in the sand
Got some driftwood
To hold my hand
Slept in the open
Like a natural man
Good air can’t do
What a good woman can
For Who...